and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize