I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
