Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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