Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
