Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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