I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
