just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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