I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
be right there i have to get my cape
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
