OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
