He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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