considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
