At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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