I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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