you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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