OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
