First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
