Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
