My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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