And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
