Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You are a genius and a whore.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
