that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
