let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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