Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
