Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
