I'm eating all of the evidence.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
