why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
