Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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