i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
