no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
