well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
