to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
