some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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