Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize