I just cut my nipple shaving
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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