Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
