is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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