The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Come on in and take your pants off
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