isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize