Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
