Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
