one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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