It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i came on her dog
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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