One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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