We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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