Me too!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
