After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
