I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
