I heard we made out
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
