Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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