Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
