If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
