i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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