Are we in a gay sports bar?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
