The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
