I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
