She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
