Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
