And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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