ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
