Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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