Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
