it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
