....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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